I haven't blogged since Thursday. Last Friday was a bit of a big deal kind of day for me. I did a BWO+ on Friday. Rested Saturday. BWO+ Sunday and today, Monday, I did the 45 min T-Tapp BROOM workout. Feeling good...keeping true to my goal of 6 workouts a week.
But back to Friday. I had my follow up appointment with my OB/GYN to get my test results and the test results of our baby. They did a Caryotype (sp) and Autopsy on the baby and discovered that our baby boy was ACTUALLY a baby GIRL! You might wonder what my response to this was...and I just wanna say...I laughed! I laughed out loud and laughed as I called Jeff and told him. I cried later that night because I was so full of mixed emotions.
You might be wondering how this could get mixed up...well our baby Girl passed away around 15-16 weeks. At this time period the gentiles are still doing their morphing. It was through the chromosone testing and autopsy that it was determined she was truly XX. The results otherwise gave us no indication of why this is continuing to happen to our children.
Though I am really truly doing well with the emotions of the passing of our baby...This News has shaken up my world again somewhat. It isn't just about my boys passing...it is now about can I ever again carry a baby full term. I would like to have more children, but I don't know if it is really possible. This uncertainty and pending decisions is what stresses me out. I don't feel the need to decide right now...but I still want to know what my choice will be. Confusing, I know. There are so many variables in this. But right now I am going to really try to focus on the PRESENT. I have a wonderful husband, 3 beautiful girls and 3 children in heaven that I count as mine. Good things ALWAYS happen to me!
No comments:
Post a Comment