Let me 'esplain

For my few followers of this blog, you might already know about some of my personal life's most recent events.  But let me 'esplain for those who don't know; no, there is too much. Let me sum up.

Last September (2010) I started my own personal challenge using the T-Tapp Basic Workout Plus program and for 30 days tracked my progress in inches lost.  I continued that challenge for the next 30 days using the T-Tapp Total Workout program.  Then I found out I was pregnant. 

I have a bit of a paralyzing fear of working out while I am pregnant.  I have experienced 2 miscarriages during my second trimester of pregnancy and I have a fear (one of many) that I am the one causing these miscarriages by being too active.  Does that make sense?  Not at all.  We do irrational things when we are afraid. 

Once I found out I was preggo I stopped T-Tapping.  I dropped off the blog world, cause I didn't want to share that I was pregnant yet with others for fear that I might lose this baby too soon.  I was physically tired and just didn't feel I had the mental strength to make even a 15 min daily workout happen, even a few times a week.  I was living in fear and in excuses. 

Last Tuesday, Jan 18th, I went in for my 17 week check up to once again find that our baby had no heartbeat.  We went to the hospital that day to deliver our 3rd son, Collin Maxwell Bartmess.  He joined his big brothers Spencer Mark and Evan Riley in Heaven.  The emotions of this experience have been all over the place.  Physically I am doing extremely well.  The delivery was the best of any of this kind that I have had.  With the older 2 boys, we didn't find out that they had passed until I was nearly 20 weeks.  So finding out at 17 weeks this time was helpful because we might be able to find more information from the baby's tissues that we couldn't on the others since they had passed around 17 weeks and we didn't find out till around 20.

I know that I have many emotions that I don't know how to deal with right now, but I will have to face them sometime.  That is why I posted what I did on Monday, Jan 24th, which was also my birthday.  It was a great day for New Beginnings.

Tuesday I saw that T-Tapp was beginning a new challenge from Jan 27th to Feb 27th.  I was WAY excited to see this challenge, because it gave me something to focus on and work through my grief by getting physically stronger so I can deal with the things I need to emotionally. 

Thursday the 27th was the BIG day!  I took my photos and measurements and even though it was 9pm, got a BWO+ workout in.  This morning I woke up and tried a new workout by Teresa Tapp called the T-Tapp Broom.  I wasn't able to do all 1 hour 45 min worth because of my schedule today, but I did get in 75 min of moving my Lymph around and it felt GREAT!  I am constantly surprised at how simple the T-Tapp movements LOOK, until you are trying to do all KLT, Tuck, NBT, Lats and Shoulders movements at once while implementing her other workout moves too.  It is a little workout with a big KICK!  A Kick in my Booty!

At this point I don't have a specific plan for what workout, when, just that I am going to try and do some T-Tapp with a minimum of 15 min, 6 days/week.

I just finished my registration on T-Tapp.com tonight and uploaded my pics and measurements to the website.  I will try to get them up here too.  Pictures are always a bit embarrassing, but we gotta start from somewhere, right?

So now that it is actually 12:09am on the 29th I should get to bed.  Part of losing weight is getting good sleep.  So off to bed I go.